News

We are celebrating International Men's Day on Thursday 19 November, by sharing some stories from our male colleagues. The first is from Steve Timms, Community Safety Lead. We also have a short video from Terry Spillard, our Assistant Director of Customers - Hear from Terry, on International Men's Day.

"Covid-19 has hit hard for a lot of people. For some it has exaggerated the symptoms they were already feeling and for others, it has developed new and unusual feelings.   

"In general terms, men handle their emotions very differently to women. Women meeting up after not seeing each other for a long time will often complement each other, hug and generally show how pleased they are to see each other…men will often be the most abusive to the ones they missed the most.

"In my spare time, I work with youth groups as a rugby coach and an adult instructor for the Army Cadets.  With games, training nights and weekends being stopped or significantly changed  I have seen children lose interest, motivation, and confidence.   I have also seen the adults I volunteer with, and those that I work with, be significantly impacted by loneliness and depression.

"My routines have changed and Covid has made me spend a lot of time developing Zoom and Teams online sessions and planning new ways of doing things,  as well as keeping up with the ever-changing Government guidance. But most importantly I have been relying on my counseling and listening skills from my old days working with care leavers and National Children’s Homes.  The pressure young people feel and the impact of social media cannot be underestimated.  The ability to listen and allow discussion without being judgmental seems more important now than ever before.

"So, keep an eye out for each other and if you think somebody is having a hard time, just make sure they know you have seen it and you are there if they need you.  Small gestures go a long way.   

"The most common signs to look out for in yourself and those around you.

• Being quiet. One of the most common signs of someone who may not be feeling themselves is if they're unnaturally quiet.
• Lack of motivation.
• Self-loathing, or just being a bit down on themselves.
• Being moody, upset or angry. 
• Sleeping. 
• Talking about death.

"If you recognise the symptoms above, don’t ignore it, deal with it. There are ways of coping and managing. 

• Get some sleep - The average adult needs around 8 hours of sleep a night. If that’s not you, close your laptop, flight mode your phone, and have a nap, you deserve it.
• Speak to friends and family - You don’t have to discuss with them how your feeling if you’re not comfortable. Just hearing someone else tell you about their day can take the pressure off of your mind.
• Have a 14-day cleanse - When you are feeling low it becomes increasingly easy to turn to smoking, drugs, alcohol, and unhealthy eating habits. These may numb the pain for a short time, only for the same feelings to return more aggressively. The first few days will be the hardest but get through them and you will start to feel the benefits.
• Balance work and pay - Someone who is overworked cannot perform to their best ability, even the greatest of minds needs a break. Create a schedule that works for you, with a healthy balance of work and play.
• Do something - Listen to music, go to the gym/for a run, meditate, read, write, draw, visit an art gallery/museum, make a list of things you are grateful for, dance, watch your favourite film/series.
• Acknowledge how you're feeling - One of the worst things to do is suppress your feelings, attempting to sweep them under the rug in hopes they will disappear but, they never do. 

"Failing all that….dress as a duck and ideally find others who will dress up with you."

Steve Timms, Community Safety Lead at Golding Homes

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The three core themes for international Men's Day are:

• Making a positive difference to the wellbeing and lives of men and boys
• Raising awareness and/or funds for charities supporting men and boys’ wellbeing
• Promoting a positive conversation about men, manhood and masculinity

These themes help to address some of the issues that affect men and boys such as high male suicide rate, the challenges faced by boys and men at all stages of education, men’s health and much more. For further information visit ukmensday.org.uk